A Realistic Conversation About Donors in the Vampyre world.

Let’s have a realistic and practical conversation about Donors and how to find them/where they come from

The concept of donors in the Vampyre Community is one that gets very little coverage these days. Donor conversations are had less and less seemingly because the shift in collective thought from vampyrism as an ailment to vampyrism as an empowering force is becoming more and more prevalent.

Sanguine vampyres are not as commonly out there anymore outside of the spaces they’ve built for themselves and psy vampyres are relying more on ambient feeding, so the need for donors seems to be dwindling. However, we all know the need will never go away completely. So, we should have an open and honest discussion about donors and donor relations.

How do I find a donor?

In the majority of things you find written about the nature of Vampyre/Donor relationships, forming a connection with a donor is portrayed as a transactional agreement between a strange potential donor and a seeking vampyre. It’s often written as if the way to find donors was putting out personal ads on craigslist (or theblackbooks.net) and meeting strangers in coffee shops to try to gauge whether or not they’re safe to interact with in private and negotiating terms, boundaries, and limits. I have written material in this same vein too, as this does happen.

However, in my personal experience and the experiences of many people that I’ve talked to about this throughout the years, this isn’t how people are actually finding donors… at least not anymore.

I’m sure it was more prevalent in the past to set up personal ads looking for donors on older vampyre registries. I’m sure some people still do locate potential donors with personal ads on things like the black books and fetlife. However, in my experience people generally find donors by cultivating relationships with people in alternative circles and breaching the donor conversation at some point in their budding friendship.

Common progression of donor relationships

I obviously can not speak for all vampyres who have ever had donors. Hell, I can’t even speak for the majority of them. What I can say is that there’s a lot of similarities mirrored through the personal experiences of myself and many other vampyres that I have encountered throughout my journey.

In these shared experiences, donors are commonly people who were close to us first before the idea of becoming a donor ever comes up. They’re friends, partners, or people close enough to us for our vampyric nature to be out and on the table before the topic of being a donor is ever breached.

Some vampyres of the blood have the uncanny ability to attract individuals who are aligned with becoming our donors, often without realizing it until the conversation manages to come up seemingly naturally one day.

While in pursuit, most real vampyres embrace the concept of mutual consent. They recognize the ethical boundaries that must be respected, ensuring that their donors are willing participants in the exchange. This acknowledgment underscores the importance of grace as we navigate the complexities of desire, pleasure, and personal sovereignty.

Psy vampyres are much more likely to violate what most people consider consensual feeding, as taking energy from others is easy to do. (so protect yourself in vampyre heavy spaces) Non-consensual sang feeding is assault and you’ll catch a charge over that…and probably some hands.

Vampyre+Donor Experiences

The act of vampyric feeding is not simply about sustenance for most of us, but about a visceral connection and experience that transcends the physical plane. We often forge a bond with our donors, a symbiotic relationship that nourishes both body and soul. In our pursuit, we are guardians of balance, acknowledging the fragile equilibrium between predator and prey, darkness and light.

Due to the nature of the Vampyre+Donor relationship, there is a level of trust needed for each party to open up to the attachment gained through intimate feeding experiences…

Not necessarily sexual, but intimate nonetheless… Many people end up with donors that were partners first, or they blossom into becoming partners after going from friend to donor. Romantic relationships between Vampyre & Donor are very common.

Energy & Blood exchange is often not the sterile unfun experience portrayed in past media depictions of vampyres. In fact, a lot of us enjoy it. Taking pleasure in feeding has never been taboo amongst vampyres no matter what narrative certain groups try to project publicly. There is no shame in enjoying what we are as vampyres nor is there shame in donors enjoying the feeding/exchange experience. In fact, it can greatly enhance the experience when done with care.

All of my donors throughout my life have been partners. From the time I was 15 to now at almost 33, I’ve had consistent donors the whole time and all of them have been long term romantic partners. Majority of the people I speak to about this subject have also had donors that were long term romantic partners.

Through continued energy exchange we create energetic cords that grow stronger between us through continued experiences. We do this all the time in everyday life when we interact with people. However, the feeding process creates a much stronger cord by default than you shaking hands with a work colleague or any other minute human interaction. The energetic cords created through feeding become strong very quickly, especially over repeated long term feeding. A sense of connection between Vampyre & Donor can be cultivated that can have potential energetic and emotional repercussions like toxic infatuation if you’re not careful, but that’s a subject for another day…

Gotta put yourself out there to get a donor

The reality is, you’re not gonna get a donor if you don’t put yourself out there. No matter what, if you’re not engaging with the real world, going to events or meetups of some kind, or making your presence and your nature known to some degree in spaces where donors might be present, you’re just never gonna find a donor.

It is important to acknowledge that you cannot hide in the shadows and expect the right donor to simply stumble upon you. You must embrace the courage to reveal your true nature, albeit in a selective manner. It may be tempting to retreat into seclusion, but the path to finding a compatible donor lies in being present and accessible.

Being graceful is the name of the game

As a vampyre, one must embrace the essence of grace in order to find the connections they seek.  Vampyres generally possess a heightened sense of awareness of themselves and of their surroundings. This is not always an intrinsic awareness, but one that is cultivated over time and experience. This awareness becomes attuned to reading the subtleties in the energies of others, allowing them to seek out those whose energy best resonates with their own.

Without this cultivated sense of awareness, you may unintentionally drive off potential donors. Courtesy, finesse, and proper social etiquette are very basic yet underutilized tactics in any social situation, but especially when you’re hoping to bring someone on as a donor.

Ultimately, putting yourself out there as a real vampyre requires a delicate balance of assertiveness and subtlety.

It is about creating an aura of allure and intrigue while respecting the autonomy and choices of those you encounter. By embracing vulnerability and taking calculated risks, you open doors to the possibility of finding a donor who not only understands your nature but willingly offers their life essence as a gift.