Ethical Donor Relations: Vetting your Prospects and Negotiating Terms
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Ethical Donor Relations: Vetting your prospects and Negotiating terms
Relationships between Donors and Vampyres vary based on the arrangement made between them. It is not a one size fits all deal. Some are very primal; some are very sterile. The donation ritual and extraction process vary between individuals. The one thing that remains unequivocally true is that all Donor/Vampyre arrangements need to start with a standard vetting process to ensure the safety of all parties involved.
The process of finding a donor is no different than the process of meeting any person for the first time. If you’re searching for a donor, the odds are that you’ve resorted to some sort of online outlet. No matter where you’re making first contact, a few key safety measures should be taken.
#1️ Talk to this person, often… including on the phone a few times before arranging a meeting: Take your time to thoroughly vet a new person coming into your life.
#2️ Meet in a Public Place: Don’t accept to meet someone for the first time at a private place such as their house or parks off the beaten path. Go out for coffee. Get lunch. Create opportunities to discuss things and feel each other out before moving to a private meeting place.
#3️ Don’t Disclose Too Much Personal Info: There is no need to tell your new friend about what company you work for, which gym you belong to, the neighborhood you live in, or where they can find you on Wednesday nights… All of that can come later once you’ve got to know them more.
#4️ Do disclose your boundaries, what you expect, what is explicitly not allowed, etc. – Is this going to be a very sterile and business only arrangement? Are you open to things evolving beyond a business arrangement? Becoming friends? Are you absolutely against sexual relations? What are your hard limits? What are you looking to try? Talk about ALL of this. Lay your expectations on the table completely and let them know what you are absolutely not okay with. If a boundary you’ve set is pushed or broken, you exit the arrangement immediately.
#5️ Trust your gut, YOU are in control of your own safety: If for instance, a person gives you inconsistent information or a falls in and out of communication, or otherwise is acting strange or makes inappropriate remarks… You have the right to keep yourself safe and stay away from that person until you can know more about them and feel comfortable.
Okay you’ve vetted this person, now what?
Once you’ve determined that you’re comfortable with this person and wish to move forward to the next phase, you need to exchange clean STD tests between each other. Both the Vampyre and the Donor need to be tested for STDs and other bloodborne communicable disease. We are not immune to sickness, and we do not feed from the sick to preserve their own wellbeing as well as ours. Make sure you can see the paperwork results of the tests, or better yet, go to a clinic together to get tested.
Knowing each other’s basic 
medical history is also a good practice. If a donor has a compromised immune system, blood disorders like iron deficiency, etc… you may want to reconsider using them as a donor. Other medical concerns need to be discussed and navigated to determine what can be safely extracted. If either candidate is prone to mental illness, you will need to explore how each other handles the ebbs and flows of their mental states and create a safe, sane, and consensual (and probably flexible) donation schedule that works for the both of you.
medical history is also a good practice. If a donor has a compromised immune system, blood disorders like iron deficiency, etc… you may want to reconsider using them as a donor. Other medical concerns need to be discussed and navigated to determine what can be safely extracted. If either candidate is prone to mental illness, you will need to explore how each other handles the ebbs and flows of their mental states and create a safe, sane, and consensual (and probably flexible) donation schedule that works for the both of you.–
Above all else, use common sense — Knowing when to say 
‘NO’ and accepting every action on a 
permission basis only is a MUST.
‘NO’ and accepting every action on a permission basis only is a MUST.Do not feel pressured to allow a vampyre to take more than you are comfortable with, or in a way you feel nervous about.
To the Vampyres: Do not feel the need to live up to some expectation that a donor may have about “vampires.” You are a person with needs, yes, but don’t get too carried away for a fantasy… unless you’re into it. C’est La Vi
Source Material from The Red Cellar.
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